We landed in New Jersey with two kids, a mountain of luggage, and a running list of things we thought we had figured out. We hadn’t.
The first few weeks were a crash course in how differently things work here — and not just the big stuff like school enrollment. The everyday logistics that nobody thinks to warn you about were the ones that caught us off guard. Here are three things I wish someone had told me before we arrived.
The Myth of the Easy Driver’s License Exchange
If you are relocating from South Korea to New Jersey, let me clear up a huge misconception right away. Unlike some states, New Jersey does not offer a direct, seamless license exchange for Korean driver’s licenses.
However, it is not a complete reset either. Here is how it actually works: you are exempt from the Road Test (behind-the-wheel exam), but you absolutely must pass the Written Knowledge Test.
Written Exam is Not a Joke
And let me be honest, this written exam is not a joke. Back in Korea, the driver’s license written test is famously something you can pass with just a bit of common sense. But the New Jersey knowledge test is a completely different story. It catches so many Korean expats off guard because it requires you to memorize highly specific regulations—like the exact dollar amounts for specific traffic fines, the precise number of DMV points for various violations, and the strict feet-and-meter rules for parking near a fire hydrant or a stop sign.
I learned the hard way that you can’t just skim through the manual once and hope for the best. My biggest piece of advice is to utilize the practice tests on the MVC website and keep taking them over and over again until you are consistently scoring 90% or higher. If you aren’t hitting that mark at home, you will likely struggle at the actual computer terminal.
Use the “Skip” Button
But when you do sit down for the actual test, here is a golden rule that saved my sanity: use the “Skip” button. The exam consists of 50 questions, and the computer stops the moment you get 40 correct answers. If you encounter a question about a weird fine or an obscure parking distance that you aren’t 100% sure about, do not guess and risk getting it wrong. Just skip it. The question goes to the back of the line, and since you only need 40 correct answers to pass, you might never even have to face it again. Strategically skipping the tricky ones is the easiest way to clear the exam on your first try.
6-Point ID Verification
The real hurdle isn’t even the test itself—it’s getting through the door of the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission (MVC). NJ is notorious for its strict 6-Point ID Verification system. They will scrutinize every single piece of paper you bring. If you are missing even one point, or if the name on your lease doesn’t perfectly match the name on your passport, they will send you packing without a second thought.
Get Your SSN (or Denial Letter) First
From my own experience, your absolute first stop after unpacking your bags should be the Social Security Administration (SSA) office. Do not even bother booking an MVC appointment for your license until you have your Social Security Number (SSN) sorted out.
New Jersey has seen a massive influx of expats and international families recently. Because of this, local social security offices (especially in Bergen County and surrounding areas) are incredibly busy. Walking in without a plan can mean hours of waiting.
Here is a crucial tip for dependent spouses (like F-2 or H-4 visa holders): You might not be eligible for an SSN, but you still need to visit the SSA office. Why? Because the MVC requires an official SSN Denial Letter in place of a Social Security card to fulfill your 6-point check. Without either the actual card or this specific letter, your driver’s license process will come to a dead halt. Book this appointment the moment you clear customs!
Finding the Korean Community Saved My Sanity
I want to be honest about this one: the first month without a community around me was genuinely lonely. Everything was new, everything required more energy than it should have, and I didn’t have anyone nearby who understood what that felt like.
What helped most was finding the New York New Jersey Mom Naver Cafe — a Korean mom community covering the New York and New Jersey area. It’s become my go-to for everything from local recommendations to school questions to “does anyone know a good pediatrician in Bergen County.” The collective knowledge in that community has saved me hours of research on more occasions than I can count.
If you’re newly arrived and haven’t found your people yet, that’s where I’d start. Search for it on Naver — it’s active, it’s specific to this area, and the moms there have seen every question you’re about to ask.
Embracing the Beautiful Chaos of New Jersey
Looking back, those first few weeks were a blur of minor bureaucratic nightmares, endless paperwork, and a heavy dose of culture shock. There were moments sitting in the MVC waiting room or staring at a grocery aisle where I genuinely questioned if we had made the right choice to move our entire life across the ocean. The administrative hoops you have to jump through as a newly arrived expat family can feel deeply isolating and unnecessarily complicated.
But if you are currently in the thick of it—surrounded by half-unpacked boxes, stressing over an upcoming written test, or feeling that sudden wave of loneliness—I want to promise you that it gets so much easier. The paperwork eventually clears, your driver’s license finally arrives in the mail, and navigating the local roads becomes second nature.
Moving to New Jersey with two kids is undeniably a massive challenge, but it is also the start of an incredible adventure. Give yourself some grace during these chaotic first months. Lean on the local communities, ask for help when you need it, and take it one single appointment at a time. Before you know it, this unfamiliar place will start feeling less like a foreign country and more like home. Welcome to the Garden State—you’ve got this!
Read Next: [Our First Year in New Jersey: A Real Look at How My Kids Adjusted]
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